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I vowed as I left his place in the middle of the night that I would never put myself in that dangerous of a situation again.

And even though I now make sure people know my identity before I’m alone with a potential partner, there are still some aspects of this interaction that seem to show up in my dating life no matter how many precautions I take.

It never has been, and it's always been important to us both to be out and open. But being the partner of someone who is part of a minority community that, at best, is enjoying some supposedly newfound "fascination" focus in the media has its own set of challenges.

These are just a few of those challenges I've encountered, and heard reflected back from other women partnered with trans men: 1.

“If you date trans men, why don’t you just date, you know, a real man?

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We’d just met, so I can only imagine the infinite possibilities swirling in his head.He was an amateur MMA fighter, came from the hood — apparently a former gang member, as I learned later. We’re the dirty little secrets who get calls only after hours.It wasn’t that he necessarily made me feel threatened, but I knew the statistics. No matter how beautiful, intelligent, or successful, we are the ones who have to settle for being nothing more than receptacles for men’s desires and insecurities. “I’m a transgender woman.” I emphasized the woman part.” I really love doing hard things (pun intended), but demanding your partner’s gender identity be respected and supported when that very act calls your identity into question is the kind of hard-to-do that sometimes feels impossible.I, like Jade Salazar mentions in her piece Loving Butch Women, can only speak based on my personal attraction.Instead, we find ourselves often navigating the equally murky waters of fighting to be visible in a culture that broadly perceives us as heterosexual.