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Dating an acoa

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You sense that something’s wrong, but you don’t know what.

It can be a relief to realize that some of your struggles are common among ACOAs.

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With that kind of beginning, it’s easier to understand the hallmark get close-pull away pattern that often gets established in relationships in which one partner grew up around addiction. How can anyone really know if their partner, potential husband or wife, came from an alcoholic household? Sometimes it’s not known that someone’s parents are alcoholics — plenty of people have alcoholic parents without realizing it. Loving someone whose parents are alcoholics is challenging and often unpredictable territory.Concurrently, they may feel “crazy” when they are unable to understand their partner’s behavior.It can be difficult for ACAs to express their honest emotions, and they may resort to guessing or looking to others to figure out how they should feel or express themselves.Ideally, by the time one reaches adulthood, the inner messages are much stronger than the outside influences.